This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
