I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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