I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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