NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Randomize
