she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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