I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
