I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
