OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
