i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
