turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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