I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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