exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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