I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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