I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
