and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
My cat gives me a boner
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
