I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Randomize
