He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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