Your face is a jimmy john
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
