the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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