Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
