billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
