It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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