He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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