I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
birth control should be required to get into college
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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