and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
