where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
That reminds me...we need to get swords
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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