my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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