But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
