Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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