You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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