They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
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