Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
