Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
