i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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