I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
