grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
