i permit you to call me
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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