I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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