So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
