i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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