Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
there is puke in my bra ... again
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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