and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
