Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Randomize
