Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
