you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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