I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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