just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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