I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
