i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He better not be in your backpack
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize