Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize