yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
