How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
