i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
