I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
