We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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