You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Is Oprah even human
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize