i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize