U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
