I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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