Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
And my parents said I crawled through the house
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
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