Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
