When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
