I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
