Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.

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(917): View more from New York City

its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?

(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.

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(443): View more from Maryland

i drank out of a bidet.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.

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(734): View more from Michigan

Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

There are footprints all over my windshield

(828): View more from North Carolina

You said you were making waffles...

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